every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Randomize
