My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Randomize