My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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