Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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