take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Randomize