Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
