omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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