I can't breathe out the right side of my face
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
Are my feet made of real feet?
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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