How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
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