Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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