This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
