Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize