She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize