i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
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