The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
Randomize
