So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
