i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
Randomize
