I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Randomize