He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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