Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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