We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize