my phone cant type all the emotion im having
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
