It's a beautiful day for a hangover
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
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