WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
