yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
