he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize
