pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
