I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
Randomize
