i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
