Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
