I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Randomize
