just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
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