At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Is this like a preordered booty call?
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
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