that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Randomize
