I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
