I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize