Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
