You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
