"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
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