I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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