Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
