wakey wakey hands off snakey
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
