dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
Randomize
