you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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