careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Randomize
