He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
