She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Randomize
