you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize