so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
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