What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
Hippo gnu deer
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
