tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
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