I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Randomize