I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Randomize
