Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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