I could make wine with my vomit
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Randomize
