two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Randomize
