There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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