ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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