i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Randomize
