if you like me you must not know who I am
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
