oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Randomize
