I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
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