Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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