My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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