U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
This is the high leading the old right now
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Randomize
