I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
