i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
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