I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
These tits shall not be calmed
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
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