He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Randomize