you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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