At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
