Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
