So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Randomize
