remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Randomize
