I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Randomize
