It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
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