check it out our google latitudes are spooning
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Someone came in the potted fern
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
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