THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
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