Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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