And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
